I showed him my bush... on skype.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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