Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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