Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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