Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
