sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
