I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
