my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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