I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
