So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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