Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will pee on everything he values.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
