He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
