OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
