I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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