I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize