just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Randomize
