I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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