I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
