Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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