I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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