I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You are a genius and a whore.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
