Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
