The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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