i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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