A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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