Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
