I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
