Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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