I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
