You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
