How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize