Already got asked if we're dating
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I lost the right to judge tonight
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
