yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You need a sexual gate keeper
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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