Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
