was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want nice things and good sex
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
