she was so not down for the gang bang
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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