is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
