...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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