I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
