you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
