I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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