no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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