I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
