grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
