he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
