meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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