I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
