I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize