Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
