You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
