I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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