Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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