Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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