I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize