My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
