nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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