Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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