Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
