I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
