The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
