No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize