I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
