I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
