I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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