If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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