all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
