Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
