My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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