You're so nebulous sometimes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
