That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
