sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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