it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
