So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
