What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
